Baby #2...A Little Girl with Straight Feet

I remember the first time Jay and I really talked about having another baby (as in seriously, "hey we should think about this soon") was actually on the way to Oliver's last orthopedic appointment.  Oliver was almost 21 months old, and was quite a handful as a toddler.  I love that child dearly but boy has he always kept us so, so busy!

Getting pregnant with Oliver was very easy, and I assumed it would be the second time also.  We decided to wait until just after Oliver's second birthday to start trying, and I was shocked when it didn't happen right away.  In fact, it took us six months to conceive our second child.  Six long, difficult months.  When all you want is a child, each passing month, week, day can seem agonizing at times.  I'm not saying this to be dramatic; it truly can be heartbreaking.  I can now look back and see how much my faith grew during this period of time.  All I could do was pray and lean on God to give us a child in His perfect timing.

Oliver was almost two and a half when we finally found out we were expecting another baby.  I was so excited and relieved.  We were excited to tell everyone as soon as we could.  I was only 3 weeks and 2 days pregnant when I got a positive test.

Positive!! I think I took about 10 of these tests...it just seemed too good to be true!

Oliver's pregnancy was relatively easy.  I was very nauseated for the first 10 weeks but rarely threw up.  With Lucy's pregnancy, the vomiting started before I even got my positive test.  I was very sick until about halfway through my pregnancy and it was exhausting.  The two pregnancies seemed so very different, and I had a strong feeling this one was a little girl. (But remember my strong feeling about Oliver being a girl, too? Yeah. I didn't put too much stock into my "gut feelings".)

One thing I did feel very strongly about was that our baby would not have clubfeet.  I can't explain it, exactly. But I was perfectly at peace about it, and had been since before we even got pregnant again.  I remember telling Jay that I didn't think we would go through it again, that I really believed that wasn't part of God's plan for us.  When we first found out about Oliver's feet during my pregnancy, we were kinda going to church, kinda not.  We hadn't found a church to really call "home" yet.  Shortly after that ultrasound, we actively started going to church again and I really felt like we had been able to use Oliver's healing as a testimony.  I felt like we had walked down that road, used it for God's glory, and our life was moving on to even better things.  It almost makes me sad to think back on how optimistic I was then.  I really had no idea what life held for us. I wouldn't know until May 2013 when baby #3 showed another clubfoot.

I struggled with how to pray for our second baby.  I mean, I could see how God had used Oliver's situation in such glorious ways.  We found a church family and grew in our faith so much.  I had no choice but to rely on God to get me through some of those very difficult times.  We were able to tell people about God's healing powers and use Oliver as an example.  What an amazing opportunity and blessing.  If baby #2 could do the same, how could I pray for us not to go through clubfeet again? If baby #2 had clubfoot and could reach someone for Christ, how could I pray against that?  It truly was hard.  I would lay hands on my stomach and pray for God's will to be done.  I knew that God knew my heart.  He knew I didn't want to go through this again.  But I trusted His plan.

On our way to our ultrasound in May 2011, I felt very peaceful about the whole thing.  I really hoped we would find out the baby's sex and prayed that the baby would have straight feet. Oliver and my mom went with me and Jay to the scan.

At our ultrasound, our baby was laying in a funny position which made it hard to see much.  The baby was laying transverse (sideways), bent at the waist with the feet up by the head.  It was hard to see both the feet and between the legs ;) but we were finally able to get a pretty good look at the sex.  We were having a girl!!  I wasn't surprised at all.  The ultrasound tech didn't really want to say for sure, but showed us what she was looking at and agreed that it did look like a girl.  I felt like she was just confirming something I already knew.  I asked the tech how the baby's feet looked, and explained that our son had been born with clubfoot.  Baby girl moved around some, and it was hard to get a good look but from what we could all see, her feet looked perfect.  What an amazing blessing.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

Baby girl looking right at the camera.  You can actually see the lense of her eye! Her hands were up by her face, right under her chin.

We went back two months later for a second ultrasound to double-check everything.  This time, baby girl was breech, sitting on her feet.  It was hard, again, to get a good look, but from what we could see everything looked good.  It was a relief, but I wasn't surprised a bit.  For that second ultrasound, a dear friend of mine went with us.  I was excited to have her along to see our little baby, and knew that if in fact something did show up, I would want her to be there with us.  Having her there to hear the good news was wonderful as well.  I felt like we could finally say, for sure, "We are having a baby girl with perfectly straight feet."

Towards the end of Lucy's pregnancy, I switched from my OB to a midwife in order to have the supported natural birth that I desired.  My midwife knew about Oliver's feet, as did my doula and of course our families.  I went into labor with Lucy on my due date, and she was born early the next morning.  I remember everyone laughing as she let our her first cry because it sounded so...girly.  Oh how I loved her already.  I remember being so thankful for so many things...that I was able to go into labor naturally (not induced), that I was supported and loved during my labor and natural birth (not bullied or pressured into any unwanted interventions or medications), that she was born on exactly the day God had planned for her (not one that I picked), and that she and I were both healthy.  I was so overwhelmed with emotions.  I first asked, "Is she still a girl?" Yes, she was.  "Are her feet ok?"  Yes.  Yes, they were.  It meant a lot to me that the people in the room with me (my midwife and doula, along with my mom and Jay) knew how special it was for us to see Lucy's perfect feet.

Me giving Lucy her first bath when she was several hours old.  It was very special for me to be a part of this since I wasn't even able to see Oliver get his.

Oh sweet little feet.

Lucy's first outfit...a sleeper with feet! And a hair bow of course :)

Lucy's going home outfit, complete with tiny, little shoes.

Lucy's newborn days were not easy.  Most people have no idea how much I struggled adjusting to two children.  It was very, very tough.  We had an extremely rough start to breastfeeding (I didn't breastfeed Oliver so this was new to me) and she was a very high needs baby.  Jay had just started working third shift two weeks before she was born.  Taking care of both kids at night by myself (Oliver was waking up at least once a night at that time) was tough and I became extremely exhausted.  My postpartum recovery was slow and painful.  I tried to rush back into "normal" life and didn't really respect that special time after birth where a mother and baby should just get to know one another.  Lesson learned!  I swore that with our next baby I would take much more time to just rest.  I would not be on the go constantly.  I would do what needed to be done because life obviously has to continue, but I wouldn't be on the go so much.

Despite all of our struggles, I truly appreciated having a baby that did not have clubfeet.  I loved being able to give her baths, or have her get in the bath with me (especially during those rough breastfeeding sessions).  I would sit and just rub her legs and feet and look at her.  I remember when she was 8 days old being so thankful that we weren't on our way to have casts put on those precious little legs.  I loved putting little socks on her, and dressed her in outfits with cute little leggings.  Her feet were so small that most shoes didn't fit her, but I would occasionally put some on her just because I could.  I could hold her on my chest and let her curl up easily.  I would just sit and think, *This* is what its like to have a "normal" baby.  There was something so simple, yet so sweet, about enjoying my baby just as she was.  No casts.  No braces.  No heartache about all she was enduring.  We had so much to be thankful for.  Lucy was, and continues to be, such a blessing to us.  I adore that little girl.

Heading home as a family of 4. Daddy, Lucy (about 13 hours), Oliver (3 years), and Mommy.

Lucy and me, Easter 2013.

Lucy, almost 20 months old.  This little sweetie has taught me so much about myself and being a mother.